in which I fully embrace sentiment and (perhaps) even cheesiness. This is not so poetical. But, it is felt.
Today a child’s toy carried me
out of my everyday, worrying, self.
I held the kaleidoscope, closed one eye
to look at my daughter. My heart opened
in a fast rush, to see her smile
caught and held,
but not one smile, twenty
of them. She laughed, and asked,
‘how many of me do you see,
a million?’ And I moved it a fraction
and her eye blinked, that eye
whose color I can never quite
fathom. Greedy, I turned the toy
in the direction of my baby. Rewarded
with twenty chins, and then twenty noses.
Each part of her perfect. Each part of them.
How long I waited, how much I tried, and every month
found me finding more ways things could go wrong. Even
something as minute as her heart beat can
unhinge me. Its never quite taken for granted ness.
Sometimes I think I could spend a whole day
saying thank you. Thank You: to every friend who helps me,
thank you to my family, who made me, thank you to the crazy
intense universe of living. I could fall
to my knees right now, struck
not speechless, but speech
full. Gratitude, rushing
through me. Cellular and infinite
all at the same time.