napowrimo day 10

by larapayne

Rebecca Infinite


That eternity holds a permanence

akin to infinity has rarely bothered me.

They are both too large for me to fathom,

and become, somehow, comfortingly

unknowable. A year ago, I traced my genealogy

back 200 years, and found a (many times) great-grandmother who bore

seventeen (living) children in eighteen years. Heavy with my

third child(second to live), I couldn’t make sense

of even that quantity. Seventeen in eighteen. And,

I never knew her name until I found it, online. She is too

far back in our family history, marrying in 1802 in Pennsylvania.

I am her connection to eternity, forward, as she is to mine,

preceding. But, is time a line? Light moves faster

than any measureable object. But what of the mind? Last night

I dreamt I was a star, visiting distant stars,

for just a moment. When I woke

from that dream and into another, I worried,

what happens when a star goes visiting? Who minds gravity and

how do her planets know where to circle? But in the dream,

as a star, there was no worry, just space: comfortable, easy to travel,

a brief moment with someone equal, someone not bound to me by

anything but love.